Trying to parent children with an ex is difficult, particularly if there’s habitual tension at issue. If you’re co-parenting, it’s highly unlikely that you and your ex will agree on everything related to your children, so it’s best to have an idea of how to handle conflicts effectively.
One of the most important things that you can do is to have conflict resolution measures built into your parenting plan. This can set a clear course for what needs to happen when you can’t agree.
Set clear boundaries
Clear boundaries can reduce repeated arguments. There are several things that you should consider when you’re deciding what boundaries to set. This may include determining a method of communication, such as written or verbal communication, as well as times when non-emergency communication are acceptable. It’s also a good idea to limit communication to things related to the children.
Know when to take a break
Trying to push through to a resolution when you and your ex are both tense or angry likely won’t end well. Instead of trying to do this, you should know when to take a step back. You and your ex can use the time to calm down and think about the resolution options. Be sure you agree on a time to come back together to discuss a particular matter again.
Avoid placing blame
Avoid placing the blame when challenging things occur. Even if it’s clear that one parent was responsible for a situation, placing blame will never diffuse anything. Instead, focus on trying to solve the underlying issue and doing what’s best for the children. The exception to this might be if the children’s safety is being intentionally or negligently compromised.
Your parenting plan is the cornerstone of your co-parenting relationship, so it should be comprehensive. It should include the parenting time schedule, guidelines about making decisions for the children and agreements that you and your ex make. These plans are often complex, so it might be best to have a legal professional on your side who can help you to better ensure that your concerns are properly addressed in the plan.