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How can you reduce conflict in your divorce?

Most people who are headed toward divorce are concerned about the amount of conflict they’re about to face. They fear that every little issue will blow up into a huge fight, thereby threatening their mental health, their financial stability, and their children’s well-being.

If you’re feeling the same way, then you’re probably looking for ways to get through the divorce process as quickly as possible. While that’s understandable, rushing through your marriage dissolution can be costly, leaving you in a less than favorable position once everything is finalized.

Instead of looking for ways to quickly wrap up your divorce, you should look for ways to reduce conflict so that you can take the time necessary to achieve a positive outcome.

Tips for reducing conflict in your divorce

Even though it might seem impossible, there are steps that you can take to ease tension in your divorce. Here are some of the most effective:

  • Think about alternative modes of communication: A lot of conflict arises in divorce because the spouses simply can’t talk to each other without fighting. If you feel that way, then you might want to look for other ways to communicate with your spouse aside from face-to-face conversations. Emailing and text messaging can be effective, but you can also look for helpful apps, too. Be creative and find a way that works for you.
  • Gain perspective: Maybe your spouse has said hurtful and unforgivable things to you. Maybe they’re always confrontational seemingly without justification. Either way, try to think about why they’re acting the way they’re acting. They might’ve suffered a deep emotional wound, or maybe their confrontational approach is their way of coping with the reality that’s befallen them. If you can identify why your spouse is acting the way they’re acting, then it might be easier for you to get through the conflict and deflate it.
  • Focus on the future: It’s easy to think back to painful moments during your divorce. But reliving them as you’re trying to dissolve your marriage can create more conflict than necessary. Try to refocus conversations on the future and what your and your spouse’s post-divorce lives will look like once all is said and done.
  • Pick your battles: You don’t have to fight over everything in your divorce. If there’s ground that you’re willing to give, then doing so may alleviate a significant amount of conflict and stress. Just make sure that you’re not giving up too much.
  • Find an outlet: The divorce process is going to be emotional, regardless of your circumstances. By finding an outlet for your feelings, you can avoid unleashing them on your spouse as the divorce process plays out. You can turn to family members and friends for this sort of release, but support groups and a mental health professional can also be helpful. You might also want to try taking up a new hobby or revisiting an old one.

Develop the divorce strategy that’s right for you

No two divorces are alike. Therefore, you need to find a way to create a marriage dissolution strategy that works for you. While part of that may involve figuring out how to reduce conflict in your divorce, it might also include finding effective ways to negotiate and litigate key legal issues, such as those pertaining to property division and child custody.

We know it can be stressful to think about everything that you have to do. But there are steps that you can take to better position yourself for the future. And now is the time to think about taking them.